I used to think - Funny

--1--

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

--2--

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

--3--

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

--4--

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

--5--

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.