There's no half-singing - Funny

--1--

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

--2--

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

--3--

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

--4--

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

--5--

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Read All 5 Quotes >>>
---------------------------------------------------------

If it weren't for - Funny

--1--

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

--2--

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

--3--

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

--4--

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

--5--

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year

Read All 5 Quotes >>>
---------------------------------------------------------

I used to think - Funny

--1--

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

--2--

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

--3--

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

--4--

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

--5--

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

Read All 5 Quotes >>>
---------------------------------------------------------

He who laughs last - Funny

--1--

He who laughs last is generally the last one to get the joke.

- Terry Cohen

--2--

A social study has concluded that a woman's ultimate fantasy is having two men at a time! In the fantasy, one cooks while the other cleans the house. Hehehe.

--3--

Don't be unhappy if all your dreams never come true, just be thankful that your nightmares don't too.

--4--

Can you imagine a world without men? No crimes and lots of happy fat women!

- Nicole Hollander

--5--

It is a scientific fact that 1 out of 3 people is ugly. Look at the person at your left and right. If they are good looking, you're in big trouble!

Read All 5 Quotes >>>
---------------------------------------------------------